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Drew if you're not confident with what you've been told, then you need to see some more orthodontists.
If braces to correct your alignment is not going to work, then it doesn't sound like you've got a lot of choices. My class III bite (underbite) is dental, so I'm able to have braces (without surgery) to correct my bite and jaw problems. My jaw pain was so severe I started treatment when I was 47. Now I rarely have jaw pain, and when I do, it's only mild. Plus my upper teeth are slightly in front of my lowers now. I've developed an open bite, but I'm sure my ortho can correct this.
Good luck with your search for more answers.
PS ... About three years ago I joined a jaw surgery board, thinking that's what I needed and found that ortho's rarely wire the jaw shut anymore. Instead they use elastics and maybe a bite plate to help the healing process and ensure as much comfort as possible.
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