mark clayson

My braces went on last Friday - 2 days ago. It was a bit of a shock as I was not expecting it (after all, me and the orthodontist have been doing the "you're never gonna have braces" dance for 7 months or more). But straight away I was concerned about the pain I might be having later on so I decided to be prepared.

Pain and me are not the closest of pals. I still remember, as a teenager, having painful acne spots on my face. Some of them would be like blind boils - never coming to the surface, never resolving and going away. How lovely it was to squeeze one once it had finally decided to erupt fully. My mother hated the mess on the bathroom mirror but it mattered less to me. The relief was tangible.

So my first action after having the braces fitted was to order a stockpile of painkillers. We have ibuprofen and paracetamol in the UK (others use things like Advil - it's all the same). A quick chat on the line and I was assured that the requested amounts of 3000 ibuprofen and just as much paracetamol were on their way. The lorry turned up as planned, the bill was paid and the tablets offloaded rather like sand and cement are when you have your driveway tarmaced.

Whatever. I was READY!

4 litres of water was by my side and with the help of a stopwatch calibrated at the National Atomic Clock Centre, I had everything in place. My four hourly fix was organised.

But ...

No pain. Nada, Zilch,. Nil. None.

Yes, a bit of sensitivity when touching them or eating. But even that is mild. I keep waiting for it to worsen. It never does.

And now I feel short-changed. Is this meant to be? Has he really put an archwire in or is it just strong thread? Are my teeth actually moving or has the ortho just done this to shut me up?

It is all so complex and confusing. The lack of pain is unsettling.

But one thing I DO know - it's nothing to do with me having a high pain threshold!