I have ceramic on top and metal on the bottom. I have no complaints about either. The ceramic appears to be just as effective as the metal - what I've heard about the ceramics is that they can be harder to remove by the ortho at the end of treatment, but not that they are less effective during treatment.
I don't find my ceramics difficult to clean either. I drink a LOT of tea - green and black - and they haven't stained at all.
There is not only one ceramic bracket though - there are several - so it's worth finding out what type your ortho is proposing. (Mine are InOvation C.) Some ceramics are more 'clear' or opaque than others. Some are very white, some are better for folk with off-white or a yellowish tinge, so yeah find out what type.
As for shaving off some of your teeth to create space between them, I wouldn't worry about that. I had it done at my last adjustment, since my ortho has finally determined that the reason my lower teeth won't budge and straighten that last little rotation needed is because there's not enough space for them to fit in, straight, at the moment. So he took something akin to a nail file (but much thinner) and 'flossed' between my teeth with it. It didn't hurt at all and I couldn't even see any difference, but I know it gave my teeth more room to move because they hurt for a week after, as they do whenever they get to be moving.


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